Really Intense Weight Loss

So yesterday marked the first day of my weight loss challenge. I need to lose 25 lbs in 2-3 months. I am trying to take before and afters every week and will upload them if I do lose the 25lbs. Hopefully this is not a waste of time.

5 things I don't want to see Lady Gaga wear

1. A diaper

2. A birthday suit aka nude (I just don't wanna know if the rumors are true)

3. A suit made of orphaned children

4. A wookie costume (if she ruins star wars, she'll rue the day)

5. A football uniform (exception: tom brady jersey)

Things that do not cure the flu

By process of elimination, I will eventually find the cure for the flu.

Here are things we can rule out that dont work:

Bashing your head against a wall (not a cure, just a solution)

Yelling at other people to not touch you (fun, but ha s a side of guilt-y pleasure.)

watching complete seasons of your favorite shows (watching sick people on scrubs makes me feel better...kinda.)

staring at inanimate objects (this is the part where i was half hallucinating. I still cant move objects with my mind)

being super picky about what you eat ("yeah hand me that sub. no, no bread. just the meat. no i dont want the cheese either. no ketchup. just the inside of the sub. DAMNIT JUST THE INSIDE OF THE F*%&$^* SUB!")

a glass of sprite (drink, burp, repeat)

facebook stalking (i do this when im not sick, but i guess it is less creepy when youre out of your head?)

megan fox (not including her pickle finger)

flipping off the cast of jerseylicious from your couch (pleasing, but still no cure)
peeing constantly (no comment)


well, lets see, none of these worked. Damn. Couldn't a scientist just devote the rest of his life to help me? please?